The right time: to have a relationship

“Why are you single?” “You've been dating for so long, clearly he isn't serious.” “When will you get married?” “You're getting old, you should get married before your biological clock times out.”

We have all been involved in these kinds of conversations at some point. There is this timeline for our lives set up by others, with all their expectations of how we should live our lives.

It seems that a beautiful person is assumed to have to have a romantic partner. They don't ask about your plan for your life, they want to know what is wrong with you that you're single. They aren't interested in your self-love or your career-development.

There is a 'dating clock'. After a few years it is expected that marriage happens. Regardless of the couple's own private reasons and goals before marriage, people try to tell them that it's time.

The right time to enter into a relationship is when you are able to love yourself. When you understand yourself, your wants, needs and expectations. Yes, entering into a relationship with the right person can help you figure these things out. But you need to have accepted your mistakes and have forgiven yourself. You can't expect to have a good relationship with someone if the relationship you have with yourself is toxic.

Well, people may disagree, but two broken people can't make a whole relationship. Forced relationships are why so many have given up on relationships because 'making it work' becomes too much trouble. People are scared to be single because others judge them. People rush into marriage because of the unrealistic opinions of others. And all they get out of it is burdens, unhappiness, brokenness.

So why don't we start by understanding that each person is different. Not everyone is meant to be in a relationship right now. And not everyone celebrates their relationship the same way. Maybe a couple enjoys being indoors, that doesn't mean the relationship has any less romance and happiness than the couple who is travelling the world. Maybe a couple is going through a hard time and just want privacy. Or maybe someone is developing their relationship with themselves, travelling the world alone, going on adventures and outings, meeting new people, exploring talents. These may be important for their personal development and growth.

Let's remove the pressure we put on others. Let's allow people to be a third wheel to our date instead of forcing them to bring a date. Let us all be real and speak up about the truths of relationship hardships and trials.

What's your story? Where do you find yourself on this journey? What are your thoughts?