The right time: to be emotional
We have all heard that our emotions are getting in the way of some or other thing. Sometimes it's related to a decision we need to make, other times it's how we respond to something that happened. And women? Well, we're assumed to be unable to control our emotions.
But why do we experience these things called emotions?
Emotions may be brought about by things others say or do, our level of fatigue, health, trauma, memories, music, hormones, among others. Also, we are human.
We get triggered more often when there are underlying issues. Yes, someone being in your space may be rather upsetting, but what if it suddenly only bothers you today? Would you know why? What about positive emotions? Like the way your boss is lenient after passing a big audit.
People often think that sleep will alleviate the constant lashing out. And a good sleep routine can very well help with this. So can hydration. But so can dealing with what is happening much deeper down.
Depression exists. It is extremely difficult for people to live with this. The anxiety, the unexplainable mood swings. The struggle to just get out of bed and face another day. And are we helping? Do we research these kinds of conditions to help those we know who face it? Is there enough being done by businesses and governments to help?
With the increased knowledge, concern and studies being carried out on the psychology of humans, it seems there is still a stigma with people having negative emotions. People quickly dismiss the possibility of someone battling with something major.
So when can we show our emotions?
I don't know about you, but I have faked many smiles when I was crumbling on the inside. I have forced a positive attitude, just to encourage others, giving the last bit of energy I had to someone else. People would believe I am strong, just because I compartmentalize well. But there is weakness in this. The weakness we have for showing others we are human, for saving our tears so we can pour them out while collapsed behind the bathroom door.
Now I am not saying we should walk into the boardroom at 9 a.m. and breakdown, sobbing broken-heartedly. But when can we let it out?
Are you too emotional when you have had your third miscarriage and someone jokes about you never being a mother? Is it being too emotional when someone drives recklessly, with you as a passenger, and you react, shortly after you had lost a loved one? Is it being emotional when you kick over the trash after witnessing your child doing drugs? What about a mother who decides to limit her daughter's online-time, after a friend has been catfished and is now missing? Is a guy too emotional when he explains to his partner how pressure at work is affecting his emotional health? Where do we draw the line? No, you are not.
It seems as though there is no "right time" to show it. But we need to create a space to express ourselves where we are comfortable, yet mindful of those around us.
What should we do?
Society will not accept negative emotions. They want us to be IG-barbies, always quoting about amazing lives and being happy. They expect guys to be strong and not show emotions. But we are a part of society! And we judge people just as easily. So instead of looking around with where to draw that line, let us start by becoming more aware of reality. Are we aware of our actions which may psychologically affect others? Let us start being real about our emotions and be more conscious in the way we treat others. Let's create an open platform for others to do the same. A little support goes a long way.
You are entitled to have, show and own your emotions. We all have varying capacities. Our job is to deal with our emotions for our own well-being. Meditate, exercise, write, work, play an instrument, listen to music, go outdoors. Do something to give you conscious time with your subconscious and help yourself find what is buried inside so you can deal with it. Speak to someone, get guidance or schedule professional counseling. Emotional instability can have detrimental effects on every aspect of your life. YOU can control MOST of YOUR emotions.
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